Suffering, Grief, and the Presence of God | A Book Review of Free to Weep by Brittany Allen
- Amber Thiessen
- 29 minutes ago
- 6 min read
How free are you with your tears?
Some of us are much more comfortable with them than others. But even as they flow, we apologize, we're stricken with shame and vulnerability, thus hiding ourselves away, as though they're a signal of weakness, a banner of defeat or a judgment of immaturity.
In Free to Weep: Finding the Courage to Grieve and Embracing the God Who Heals, Brittany Allen shows us there's no need to minimize our tears, for when we do we're robbing "ourselves of the comfort and peace found through running to Christ in our weeping." Lament is a part of our faithful worship and the Lord Jesus invites us, beckons us even to turn toward Him in our pain and suffering.
If you've had questions through seasons of hardship and grief, you'll find a helpful resource in this new book!
Suffering, Grief, and the Presence of God | A Book Review of Free to Weep by Brittany Allen
Content
My Take: Developing a Theology of Suffering
Content
Purpose of the Book
Brittany writes this book to address questions many Christian women in the church have about suffering. We’ve all heard them, probably asked them and have received them at times as uncharitable attempts at encouragement. So she helps us develop a theology of suffering, reminding us that we are free to weep, because our Saviour did first.
Table of Contents
Introduction: Time for a Change
Chapter One: Should I Be Ashamed of Weakness?
Chapter Two: Is Suffering Good?
Chapter Three: Am I Suffering Because of My Sin?
Chapter Four: Am I "Suffering Well" If I Am Downcast?
Chapter Five: Does It Mean I'm Discontented If I Feel Sad?
Chapter Six: Is Comparing Suffering Helpful?
Chapter Seven: Is God Trying to Teach Me a Lesson?
Chapter Eight: Is Lament Necessary?
Chapter Nine: Are Anxiety and Depression Rooted in Sin?
Chapter Ten: Am I Alone in My Suffering?
Conclusion: Following the Example of the Suffering Savior
Summary
In Free to Weep, Brittany explores grief, lament, and emotional honesty through a biblical lens. Rather than treating tears as weakness, she encourages us to see sorrow as something God welcomes and redeems.
Each chapter addresses common questions about suffering as she weaves together Scripture, personal experience, and insights from theologians like Tim Keller to help us think biblically about suffering and bring our grief before the Lord.
My Take - Developing A Theology of Suffering
We were a young couple, in our mid-twenties, serving in our local church, growing in our relationship with the Lord, when He pressed a call on our lives to church planting among the unreached in Africa. How that all came about is a longer story for another day, but as we prepared to go, Psalm 121 was pressed firmly in my heart and mind.
“I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth” (Ps. 121:1-2)
And, I remember a question posed to us from one of our mentors asking what we were most looking forward to about serving the Lord overseas, I responded with honesty, from the depths of my young passionate heart, out of a desire to know and love God deeper—however naive it was.
“I want to learn to rely and depend on God more.”
(Sigh)
Those same words now, by God’s grace, I can still repeat. The same desire still burns within me. But it’s not light-hearted and innocent as it once was. The words now carry the weightiness that experience brings. A vivid knowledge flickers within me, of what it’s like to be in a place of desperate need, of the heaviness suffering brings.
I look at how those years shaped me. How we wrestled with injustice and heartbreak, with hostility toward the gospel, with waiting for the Good News to break open in our village. We battled malaria and chiggers, rashes and dengue, heat and humidity; frustrations learning language and culture, trying to get the words out we so desperately wanted our new neighbours to hear.
I’m thankful that we weren’t going through these challenges alone, that our first years were in training with a team, and included a unit of study dedicated to each of us writing a paper on our own theology of suffering, where we wrestled with many of the same questions Brittany asks in her book.
(which reminds me to see if I can find it saved on a hard drive somewhere and read it again)
Our team was an intentional community journey the first years of church planting together, praying, encouraging, teaching, admonishing each other, which fortified our resolve to persevere.
We were the church where there was not yet a church.
Looking back, those years prepared us for the struggles to come: A traumatic exit from the field, the sudden, acute illness of our child, and pastoral ministry through a pandemic. The faith muscle we’d exercised was needed again and again, getting regular a workout with increasing weight. And isn’t this the Christian life, honing into spiritual maturity strengthened through trials we’d never have chosen for ourselves, but which deepen our dependence on the grace of God.
In both James 1 and Romans 5, we’re encouraged that our suffering isn’t meaningless, that God is doing something, an unseen work for the kingdom, in building our character, our hope and steadfastness in Him. So even when we can’t see God’s work, Brittany reminds us, “the point of our suffering is not that we find out why we are suffering, but who is with us in our suffering.”
Our faith grows as we behold the One who never leaves or abandons us, resting in His strength, His love, His faithfulness, and His grace.
When we’re caught in the web of grief and trials, we’re not often prepared to give an answer to the questions that arise. They happen upon us unexpectedly. But we’ve all journeyed through difficulties, stress and suffering, and Brittany’s book gives us a place to ponder, with honest emotions, the presence of the Lord in suffering and to set our eyes on Him.
"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you." (1 Pet. 5:10)
How has suffering shaped your dependence on the Lord?
My Recommendation
If you browse the table of contents and find yourself nodding at questions you’ve asked and curious about the answers, you’ll find this a very helpful encouragement.
If you have friends struggling with these questions and you’re walking alongside them, read this to equip you for the conversations you’ll have. The weary, suffering sojourner might not have the capacity to read a book about suffering, but your words of wisdom and encouragement can be a balm for their soul.
Also, be sure to check out Brittany's first book, Lost Gifts: Miscarriage, Grief and the God of All
Quick Stats
# of Pages: 167
Level of Difficulty: Easy
My Rating: 4 stars
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Scriptures About Suffering
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you (1 Pet. 5:10)
Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Rom. 5:3-5)
Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all (Ps. 34:19)
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world. (John 16:33)
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Rev. 21:4)
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*A big thanks to Moody publishers for this complimentary ebook and for the opportunity to post an honest review!