Mosaic (Mar 27)
- Amber Thiessen
- 2 days ago
- 3 min read
I remember the first time I said goodbye to her. Now she’s saying goodbye to me.
We were inching along through Dar es Salaam traffic in our Toyota Land Cruiser, the windows cracked just enough for air since the A/C wasn’t working. Our firstborn sat in her car seat, maybe eight or nine months old, while a missionary friend joined us for the ride. My husband was dropping us off for to attend a women’s retreat.
I’d been so looking forward to that weekend. Longing for a time for spiritual refreshment, fellowship, and rest. Yet, as we pulled up to the airport, my heart tightened.
I gave my husband a quick hug and kiss, then stepped out and walked around to her. By then, she understood enough to know I was leaving. Her face pinched, and she began to cry. I kissed her cheek, rubbed my nose gently against hers, and whispered, “See you later, baby,” before closing the door.
I glanced back at my husband, trying to steady myself. He smiled, calm and reassuring. “We’ll be fine, babe.”
They'd stay in the city for the weekend while he organized building supplies for a project in the village. I knew this. I knew they would be okay.
Still, the questions came.
Would she fall asleep without me? What if something happened, would he know what to do?
I remember praying, resisting the pull of anxiety, not wanting it to steal what God had set before me. The truth was simple: I wasn’t in control. But they were in the Lord’s hands, and that's enough.
Fourteen years later, I stood on our porch, hugging that same girl goodbye.
This time, she climbed into the truck beside her dad, headed for a week in Europe. I was still trying to take in that the day had actually come. She called out her final “bye!” and “love you!” to her siblings, then looked at me with a reassuring smile that seemed to say, I’ll be fine, Mom.
And just like that, I found myself in another moment of letting go.
The prayers returned. The wrestling against familiar pull toward “what ifs.”
And this time, so did the words of Isaiah:
“You keep in perfect peace him whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” (Isaiah 26:3)
Perfect peace. Not because I have all the answers.
Not because I can see the road ahead.
But because God can.
Not because I am fully prepared, or even because she is, but because we’re held.
Held in the steady, faithful hands of God.
And maybe this is what this next stage of parenting looks like:not the absence of concern, but the deepening of trust.
Small steps of independence for her.
Small surrenders of control for me.
She’s learning to trust God with her life.
And I’m learning to trust God with hers.
📝 In Writing
📚 On My Shelf
Still learning from this commentary on 2 Kings for our ladies bible study.
I’m wrapping up Surprised by Joy by CS Lewis.
And I started a collection of poetry from Heidi Tai, Unmasking the Prodigal Daughter and The Body Teaches the Soul by Justin Whittle Earley
🗞️ In Articles
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My friend Timarie share short stories about the global church, this one about a South Korean friend and how she was named.
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