Lessons in Persevering Grace: What I’m Learning at 41

Another birthday has me looking back, wondering how much I’ve changed in the past 365 days. In some ways, life feels the same—same roles, same routines, same responsibilities. And yet, when I trace the year, I see God’s hand weaving through the joys, challenges, and ordinary moments.

I’m still learning to rely on Him. Still growing in love for Him and for others. And through it all, I’ve been reminded again and again: God is good, and He does good.

It's moving through milestones, watching God's mercies unfold.

So here are glimpses of His faithfulness—moments that shaped me, lessons that humbled me, and mercies that carried me.

Family

1 Celebrate! Okay this goes back to my birthday last year, but I was reminiscing. We aren’t usually big celebrators, but with my graduation, our 20th wedding anniversary and my 40th birthday last year, my husband and I went on a Mediterranean cruise. We had really fun trip where we could bask in the sun, enjoy gazing across turquoise waters, put in a lot of steps together visiting early church history sites in Greece and Croatia; building memories and cultivating relationship. Ecclesiastes 3 reminds us there is a time for everything, and though I might be tempted to feel guilt or unworthy, the Lord appoints these times of joy and celebrating.

2 My oldest got contact lenses. Okay, it’s probably not a big deal, but the moment of reality sinking in when I realize how fast she's growing up. I watch her increasing independence and responsibility, which humbles me a lot. She may just be grabbing all those typical first-born traits, but she went to the appointment on her own, learned all the things and capably went on managing things for herself. So with that burst of humility I pray, “teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom” (Ps. 90:12).

3 We had the first root canal in the family. Our son encountered a mini-stick (hockey) at short range when playing with friends. Yup, it was his permanent front tooth. We worked on the filling a few times, because the remaining tooth wasn’t a lot, so the filling kept breaking. Anyway, eventually an abscess set in and off we went to the specialist for the root canal. He did great. And I was reminded how we take our teeth for granted, as with most things, until they cause problems. “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thess. 5:16-17)

4 A new favourite sport. This year my oldest started playing on a club volleyball team. If you’re Canadian, you know what the minor hockey schedule looks like, and this was similar, but for a shorter time. We visited a lot of gyms, played a lot of games and had a lot of fun. As a parent, I love watching all the kids grow in their skills and become better players. It’s a joy to cheer them on.

5 A new transplant doctor. My littlest (who’s not so little anymore at 9 year old) had a bone marrow transplant when she was 7 months old, and while she’s been healthy and doing fantastic all these years, it was a little unsettling when her transplant doctor moved away and we were assigned someone new. A mama’s anxiety drives up a lot. The comfort of the familiar, the one who was with us through it all fizzles to the background and someone new takes over. It all went well, by God’s grace we’re thankful her bloodwork and everything looks good and we meet her again next year.

6 Vacation. All of a sudden you realize you only have 4 more years with your oldest and 8 until you become empty nesters. It’s a sobering reality to watch how quickly time goes by (it’s coming up a few times now, might be my biggest takeaway over the year). We took family time in the Caribbean and enjoyed dolphin diving in ocean waves and relishing the warmth of white sandy beaches.

7 Graduation. This year, it wasn’t mine! But rather back to sobering realities (as in #2), my oldest graduated from Grade 8! It was a really nice school celebration, Hawaiian themed, featuring personalized words of encouragement from teachers and faith-based lessons. I’m grateful for how they’ve shaped and led these students over the last year, preparing them for the next stage in their lives. Goodbye elementary school, hello high school.

8 Target Time. The CEBL now has a team in Winnipeg, so watching the Sea Bears for the second season has been fun. It’s not March Madness though (see number ) but the kids love the cotton candy, the half-time races, featuring babies or wiener dogs. The target time structure also makes the game exciting right to the end (even though I wasn’t really sold on it at first).

9 Fireworks in the bowl. I grew up with our local Harvest Festival, featuring carnival rides, craft market, concerts and community worship service. Sharing this weekend of fun with family and friends is always a highlight of the summer. This year, none of my kids were sick from the rides (thank you Jesus!) and we could actually stay til the fireworks after the evening concert. The stage is situated with a dike as a semi-circle around it, so we call it the bowl. Anyway, the popping and bursts of light were right above us which was breathtaking. (And, apparently fireworks are old-school now with drone shows becoming the new thing)

People

10 A Christmas event. Brent & I were able to fly to Toronto for the AIM Christmas event where we celebrated the retirement of our Canadian director, a man who has been a particular encourager in my life. I enjoyed sharing and celebrating his godly leadership over our organization and bless him in his next season. Serving on the board has been a real privilege.

11 Christmas at the cabin. While most of our time is spent here in the summer, the winter months have us skating on the lake, engaging in numerous rounds of Settlers, drinking endless cups of hot chocolate and building gingerbread houses. It’s also a time I reflect on the year past. and plan for the year ahead.

12 New knees, new hips. Our parents are getting all kinds of metal inserted this year to help improve their pain and mobility. Slowly branching into the world of caregiving, other than just resetting passwords, fixing the TV and syncing devices. We enjoyed a visit from our bro & sis-in-law which is always fun!

13 Writing friends. I hesitated to call myself a writer this year, with some shifts and changes in life, time just wasn’t there for as much consistency and writing as I would’ve hoped. But, hanging out in our writing community kept me holding on. Friends there would randomly drop emails of encouragement after they’d read a piece or enjoyed a book I’d shared. This is the jam on toast for a writer. Our calling is to serve our readers (that’s you!😁) and glorify God, but those words of affirmation add the sweetness. 

14 Hospitality at the lake. We spend a chunk of our summer at the lake and we’ve made some great friends there, but also find we miss our friends from home while we’re gone. So, we invite them out to share in time together and lake activities. Paddling, reading, writing on the Adirondack chairs (I’m thinking of two girls who are their own version of the Inklings), and iced coffees were all a hit.

Favourite Things

15 Books. I can’t get away without sharing a few favourite things, and books are among them. It’s been a joy writing book reviews, sharing them with you, because sometimes we’re just too busy to plod through the hundreds we could read for the one that’s right for the moment. Authors have been my mentors and their time and effort is for my benefit, for which I’m so grateful! I wrote a list of 15 must read books for Christian women, and also a free ebook guiding the busy Christian to great books.  You can visit all the reviews here also sorted by topic! 

16 March Madness! I might add this every time because it’s really one of my favourite times of year. There’s really nothing like it! 

17 Training BJJ. Promoted to blue belt last year, this marks the time when those who start, hit the plateau and quit training. It’s been good for my health, also less great at times, as there are occasional injuries involved. But it’s a hobby, it’s personal growth, it’s struggle and its success (sometimes); I wrote about a funny moment with my dad watching me train.

18 Paddling. Yup, it’s one of my favourite things to do in summer. The kids grab their boards or a kayak and we paddle out, sometimes pack a snack and jump in to swim. My board is still going strong, it was a gift a few years ago, Canadian made, designed for women.

Serving

19 Listening. This is one of my favourite ways to serve at church. The kiddos (and parents) work real hard to memorize Scripture and share their learning every week. Yup, I still get teary at times, but I just love God’s Word growing roots in these young hearts. The President and COO of Awana wrote a book last year on the topic of forming faith of our younger generation. What struck me most was that kids who are connected to another caring adult in their church are more likely to actively engage in their faith. I had some great conversations and heard testimonies about this with a few in our church and it’s led me saying hi to kids, using their name, even on a busy morning in all the chaotic clusters of people. 

20 Teaching bible study. In the fall I led a group of ladies through the gospel of Mark and I found it really refreshing to walk slowly through the gospel, despite Mark’s tendency to move quickly from scene to scene. I reflected on how we anchor our identity and preserve our awe of the Son of God. Going through the life of Jesus again, I’m reminded of Trevin’s warning that, “the church faces her biggest challenge not when new errors start to win but when old truths no longer wow." Capturing once again the awe and wonder of the Lord Jesus and growing together with the ladies is a beautiful gift. 

21 An Exciting Opportunity. Last summer at our AIM (Africa Inland Mission) bbq one of our leaders had noted that he’d made a nomination for me to be a part of AIM’s international board. I smiled, and my heart stirred deeply with humility. After Brent & I had prayed about it, I affirmed our willingness to let my name stand and a few months later discovered I’d been voted in!! This means a couple trips to Africa for meetings, where I get to reconnect with friends and leaders who were part of discipling, mentoring and shaping us as leaders and church planters. And more importantly play a role in visioning and directing the mission.

22 Panel Discussions. Our church’s mom's ministry hosts a nursing panel every year, and the conversation is typically led with a Q&A format where they can submit questions for us to answer. I think I was most encouraged with our strong collective voice of our work as a calling and ministry. I forget whether the questions were geared that way, or whether our testimonies just came up, but I remember my heart smiling at the glory of God as my friends shared about their prayers for patients, God’s answers in tough situations and hearts surrendered to the Lord as they walk the floor of their unit. "Whatever vocation God has called you to is now sacred work, carried out in a body that is meant to be offered to Him every moment of every day. You, as a woman, have been given unique skills, talents, passions, and influence that God requires you to steward well, even through your work. Your contribution to the world matters. How brightly your light shines is of great significance." (Courtney Moore, Women & Work)

23 Ladies Worship Night. Our church held a women’s worship night and I was asked if I’d be willing to share. The realization that I enjoy speaking came through my mind (because that’s probably a weird thing to want to do, right?) And it turns out I’d definitely underestimated the attendance, so arriving that evening before everyone got there, praying with the team and then seeing the benches fill up was, again, really humbling, leading to a few more desperate prayers for clarity and calm before it was time. The grace of God is enough. There’s nothing about me to make me deserve to be up there, it’s his grace and mercy alone.  

24 AIM Canada. I’m still leading on the AIM Canada board. It’s been neat to connect with our Canadians, both overseas and when they’re back. There are a couple of young ladies serving near where we were, so it makes for a lot of fun conversation. It’s also been a blessing to get to know our new director, his heart and passion for missions, as well as his desire to be strategic in moving ahead.

25 Mentoring. One morning in Kenya I awoke to a message asking if I’d be willing to mentor one of the ladies who was getting baptized. It’s a real joy to do discipleship together, and it’s one of my favourite ways to serve the church. (wait, did i say that already?)

26 I became a published author!! The book is a collaboration of writers reflecting on the blessing of the local church. My article was picked to be a part of it and I’m truly grateful for this opportunity!!! Writing is another way I love to serve, so if you feel you’d like to support it, grab a copy!

Health

27 Compression socks. Now, fully a year into this new decade, I’m learning that circulation isn’t quite the same during long haul flights. This is evidenced by some pretty significant swelling in my legs. I can’t remember ever having that much swelling since pregnancy! So, I do what many nursing friends are already doing, wearing compression socks. I found a couple cute pairs for my next trip over the pond.

28 Menopause and Exercise. I’d been exercising with the same mentality as my college years when I trained and played sports. I hadn’t really considered how perimenopause would affect exercise or recovery. Then, I came across this this podcast with Stacey Sims (a writer shared it in their newsletter) and I’ve adapted my weight training and nutrition as a result. The episode is long, and it gets science-y, but there’s a lot of principles you can draw out to improve your health and training during these middle years in our woman-ness. (oh and this book on navigating these with faith)  

Personal Growth

29 God at work in the lives of others. It’s been one year serving clients through counselling ministry; it’s been a blessing and privilege to walk alongside others. This complements the crisis work I do at the hospital, where I see people more than once and can develop longer relationship. I’ve been so blessed by the team and by God’s faithfulness. My ongoing temptation is to be a fix-er, and though I journey beside, it’s the work of the Holy Spirit bringing change, peace and comfort. 

30 Burnout vs Boreout. I follow a variety of blogs and this one showed up pretty timely for me during the winter months when weariness was rooting in. I found myself led me to a place of prayerful reflection and began making some changes, pondering a few different ideas and ways of changing my schedule, which helped me recover perspective and purpose.

31 Back to Kenya! it's been 9 years since I've been east Africa and it was so exciting to be back! In a lot of ways I still can’t believe I get to do this! Our church planting years were spent in Tanzania, but we’d come up to Nairobi for conferences and vacation. The people, language and culture are fairly similar and sure enough my ride from the airport was a friend from years ago who peppered me with Swahili conversations for an hour, and boy, my brain was in overdrive piecing together quickly what I’d remembered. Surprisingly it came back pretty well!

32 Pray, pray, pray. I think in the last year I’ve been most consistent in whispered prayers. The moments I don’t know what to say, when something is hard, when I’m afraid, when I’m in need of strength, courage, wisdom. There’s a lot of these moments and thus a lot of whispers, “Lord Jesus I don’t know what to do, but I look to you” (2 Chr. 20:12). But, taking intentional time to sit and pray has been less. I starkly noticed this during our leadership meetings in Kenya. There was morning prayer before breakfast, praying to start the meetings, small group prayer as we were both beginning and ending discussions, prayer to end the day of meetings. We prayed. And this humbled me. So I made some resolutions, added prayer lists to my Roam daily tasks page, called up a praying friend and asked her if she’d pray with me on the regular and started writing a blog series on learning to pray with Jesus in Gethsemane. So far I’ve talked about intentionality, partnership, honesty, and submission. We all probably believe prayer is important, but the next question is whether we believe prayer is essential.

33 Restore. I took some extended time off this summer, time away from most of my work, to think, pray through projects and tasks, and discern another year ahead. (Along with just enjoying family time and the lake). I’ve always found God speaks more clearly when I’m in nature, hiking, paddling or gazing across the lake. The Belgic Confession, beautifully states that “the universe is before our eyes like a beautiful book in which all creatures, great and small, are as letters to make us ponder the invisible things of God: his eternal power and his divinity, as the apostle Paul says in Romans 1:20.” The time away was restful and reflective, unhurried and hope-filled, kinda like a bit of a sabbatical.

34 A journey through lament. It’s a topic I didn’t know I needed until I dipped my toe in. I saw the books coming out on the topic and I think my heart resisted a little, not really wanting to go into the depths of pain and sadness; the memories of these seasons in my own life can feel too fresh. But both these books (here and here) refreshed my soul in ways I never imagined. “Lament is a prayer in pain that leads to trust” (Mark Vroegop) and when we face a world where things are not as they should be, these books provide a framework for prayer and drawing near to Christ in our pain and suffering.

35 Bible reading. I started off 2025 with Professor Horner’s Bible reading system, but shifted back to my usual after a few months. During my morning time in the Word I usually like to read and reflect, which usually involves a lot of journaling. Looking at it now, I understand his method is more geared toward reading for familiarity, closer to speed reading. So I just didn’t have the journaling time I needed. But, that’s just me. If I try it again, I’ll print the bookmarks and use a physical bible.

36 Tech Roundup. It’s well known that devices can be addicting, so I endeavour to view my phone as a tool to help manage my time, rather than one that consumes more of my time. There’s really effective ways it helps keep my life on track. Readwise-for all my book highlights, Roam Research-for my journaling, tasks and writing; Apple calendar-to make sure we’re all where we’re supposed to be; Notes-for grocery lists because I can share it with my husband; 

37 Discerning Fantasy. Here’s a book that’s essential if you’ve ever wondered, “Can Christians read fantasy??” I appreciate that she doesn’t just address it as a yes or no, because obviously that’d be a pretty dry book. But she carefully and biblically helps us unpack the spiritual realm and gives a framework for readers. This will be on my top books of the year list! 

Struggle

38 Fighting the temptation of despair. Well, maybe I shouldn’t have left this category for last, but I didn’t want to change my numbering so I’ll try not to make it super heavy. Working in mental health, there’s a lot of discouragement that arises. I can refer patients to a counsellor, but private therapy is expensive and many can’t afford it. There’s times I meet up with unwillingness. Others struggle because there aren’t relationships in their life to help them through the tough season they’re in. Sometimes I think, “hey, i could be your friend!” or “hey, you should come to my church!” But it’s not for me to insert myself ethically, and so we explore their relationships, supports and faith together to come up with ideas. But it can be hard.

39 Funerals. Our Uncle Dan passed away pretty suddenly. He was remembered for his faith, his quirky sense of humor, and his sneaky way of deeply caring for others. If we think about sobering realities, it’s that yes there is a time for everything, yes we need to number our days and yes, let’s make the most of every opportunity.

40 Situation gone bonkers. The Lord knows all things, and when you can’t imagine stuff happening, there’s peace that God already knew. Situations blow up, relationships tear apart and those on the sidelines are left to explain what on earth is going on-to the best of their ability. So there’s been hurt, deep wrestling, and honestly, a lot of confusion going on sometimes. Leading your kids through difficult things when you’re still trying to process is also a challenge. When I see how the Lord is teaching me about prayer, it’s for a reason. Constantly in need of wisdom and discernment, I just find myself in desperate need of Him to lead.

Concluding

41 Another day ahead. I look back on my 41st year and honestly, recounting God’s faithfulness through the wrestling, through the joys, through my favourite things, my favourite people and the ways I love serving the church is just a way to remind me, and hopefully you as well, that “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is his faithfulness” (Lam. 3:22-23). 

Soli Deo gloria (glory to God alone)

P.S. I wonder if it’s my age. This post looks really long, maybe I went a little overboard in my talking here, so forgive me, and bless you if you got this far!