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Cultivating Wonder When You Feel Weary

Have you ever been through a season of weariness?

Maybe it’s where you are now-if so, rest assured you’re not alone.

Sometimes it’s a season where I’ve said yes to too many things, other times it’s been a compilation of stressors over time, or particularly distressing circumstances to navigate. Family, work, and relationships within my 3 foot world become like working out-a part of my daily life that’s so good, yet can be so exhausting.

Fatigue sets in. Weariness invades. Prayers feel weak and feeble. Time in the Word, mechanical.

I find myself unmoving - a remarkably uncommon scenario for me-as if my body is on pause; a wave of uncertainty and frustration crashing over me as I consider what I feel to be weakness. Bent toward self-reliance, dependence on the Lord is hard.

I don’t despair of Him, but of me.

The sin that so easily entangles, the limitations of my humanity and the circumstances I cannot control. These aren’t new. Nothing earth-shattering. Yet, a timely reminder of who I am and who He is. An invitation to turn away from self, toward an active trust in what He’s doing…and that’s something hard to see in the moment.

An Encouragement

But I’m reminded, “whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever” (Ps 73:25-26).

So, when I can’t figure out the here-and-now, I’ll remember all the ways He’s shown Himself strong and fill my thoughts with the wonder of Him:

-A serious drought last summer, then an above average snowfall. Driving to town, the fields lining the highway are immersed in water. God provides.

-Our yearly appointment for blood tests and visit with her pediatric transplant doctor, we celebrate her 5 year transplant anniversary. God is gracious.

-Those months in hospital with her resulted in an eerily similar season of weariness I feel now. I remember, “after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen and establish you” (1 Pet 5:10). God restores.

-When my feet shuffle down the stairs in the dark of the morning to open the Word, those physical pages, soft to touch, remind me of his steadfast presence, even though I may not feel it. God is faithful.

The energy may not be there, but the truth is. After celebrating the work of Christ this weekend, remembering his crucifixion and resurrection, the beauty of the gospel stands bright before us, and it is enough, through every part of our journey on this earth.

A Caution

Leading the Israelites in the wilderness was the tough job given Moses. We can’t know exactly what was going through his mind, whether he was tired from travel or weary with the people’s constant rebellion and complaints, but he chose to solve their problem of water at Meribah on his own (Num 20). This act of disobedience resulted in Moses not entering the promised land.

Lacking energy, perhaps feeling the weight of physical fatigue, we need to be increasingly on guard against temptation. Rash, sinful choices can be drawn out of our impulsiveness, if we let it.

Seasons of our lives are like spring on the Canadian prairies. We get a few days of sunshine and warmth, luring us to believe summer is around the corner, only to get bombarded by a historical snowstorm the next week.

We practice remembrance in the sunny days and the stormy, turning our eyes with wonder at all God has done and is doing, for His glory in the world. For “even youths shall faint and be weary, and young men will fall exhausted; but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint” (Is 40:30-31).

How have you seen wonder through your weariness?

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