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Writer's pictureAmber Thiessen

Armour or Party Hats? Finding Gospel-Centered Unity in Conflict



Imagine this: You’re in the middle of an argument with your spouse, tensions are rising, and things are a little heated, then you both pause and place party hats on your heads. 


It sounds ridiculous, right?


The thought of it had me laughing out loud picturing my husband and I facing off in party hats. It’s hard to imagine holding onto anger or tension when we’re wearing symbols of celebratory silliness. But beyond the laughter, this got me thinking about what we usually "wear" in conflict.


When most of us enter a disagreement, we don’t come lightly, we come prepared.


Conflict often feels like a battle where we’re determined to stand our ground and defend our position. We gear up as if we’re about to face a great enemy.

Isn’t it interesting though, that Scripture speaks of armour in battle but reminds us our true battle isn’t against flesh and blood (Ephesians 6:12). We’re called to put on the whole armour of God, but this armour isn’t for fighting each other—it’s for spiritual battle.


God gives us his spiritual armour to stand firm against the enemy, not against each other. This armour is meant for the right fight. Iain Duguid explains, “the power with which we have been equipped for our struggle against sin and Satan is the very same power that brought Christ back from the dead.”


The enemy, on the other hand, tries to replace God’s weaponry with deception, shame, fear, and doubt. Becky Beresford puts it like this, “Armor provided by God is meant to empower His children to stand, but the enemy tries to replace God’s protective covering with the opposite in hopes that they will collapse. God gives us the belt of truth. The enemy offers the belt of deception. Jesus supplies the breastplate of righteousness. Satan sends us the breastplate of shame. The Spirit gives us shoes hemmed with the gospel of peace. Satan presents shoes weighed down with panic and fear. The Father grants us the shield of faith in His ability. Satan gives us a shield of doubt in God’s faithfulness.”


When we wear the divine armour of the Lord, it empowers us to stand against spiritual forces of evil—not to tear down those around us.


The image of party hats in conflict sounds silly, but now imagine the person you’re in conflict with wearing the same armour as you—fighting under the same banner, shield, and allegiance to our Lord. You’re both on the same team, standing together on the frontlines.


This visual reminds us that we are one body. When we look into the eyes of our spouse or fellow believers, we should see a brother or sister in Christ, not an enemy. Conflict isn’t about winning a battle; it’s about preserving the relationship. In matters of lesser importance, it may be easier to let go of our objective. But even—and perhaps especially—in issues of greater importance, we are called to act with kindness, tenderness, and forgiveness (Eph. 4:31-32). When we approach disagreement with a mindset of unity and love, it shifts our perspective.


The enemy delights in disrupting our relationships through deception, discord, and fear, working to sabotage our unity in Christ. But God’s armour equips us to stand firm, grounded in His truth and the wonder of the gospel, so we can engage in conflict with love and humility.


Joseph reconciled with his brothers after deep betrayal. Paul and Barnabas had a significant disagreement, yet they remained focused on the gospel. God’s armour helps us move forward through conflict, protecting us from the evil forces that seek to divide, while allowing us to work for His glory and the good of others.


Conflict is an opportunity to practice wearing God’s armour in the right way—not to defend ourselves against each other, but to stand firm against the schemes of the enemy to steal, kill and destroy. Maybe we don’t need to literally wear party hats, but the imagery helps us remember that our relationships are of high value to the Lord, despite our opportunities for disagreement. Let’s be reminded that in Christ, we’re on the same side, fighting for unity, not against each other.


As you reflect on your own relationships, how might embracing the armour of God change the way you engage in conflict? Are there moments where you’ve prioritized winning over unity, and how can you shift your focus to standing together in Christ?

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Cheryl Balcom
10月21日

Amber, I appreciate how you point out that our enemy desires to drag us down with heavy armor that only burdens, and that the armor of God is to be used against our enemy, not each other. The party hat imagery made me laugh out loud- that’s something I’ll remember next time I’m in a “discussion” with someone I love. Thank you for this reminder- especially timely as we approach another election here in the U.S.! :)

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