The Thread of Self
Beware the moment pride snags you, for as you move, it unravels continuously thoughts on a single thread of self.
After a late night constructing gallows, envisioning his enemy hanging helplessly at the end of a noose, Haman gleefully walks into the king’s court (Esther 6). He stumbles upon servants who request his presence before the king - whose own sleepless night has him pondering what reward to give a man who saved his life.
The king asks Haman’s advice: how should he compensate a faithful citizen?
Haman gives the king an extravagant description of public praise and highest honour for this mystery person, complete with the donning of the king's royal robes. For, "whom would the king delight to honour more than me?" (Est 6:6).
The pride of his heart has snagged him, hook, line and sinker, pulling him down with the thread of his selfish desires. Because Haman’s thoughts of late have been consumed with his own honor, his own satisfaction, and his own revenge, it’s no wonder he responds with himself in mind.
It happens to us too.
We have a great idea at work, but as we share it with a colleague, they're not as excited about it. We've developed an exciting vision for ministry, but can't find the support we need. We may have an opinion that's important we want others to share, but they don't see it the way we do.
Hook, line and sinker, we unravel; taking offence and adopting the hurt to ourselves personally.
In those moments we find ourselves sinking, may the Lord's grace intervene, that our prayer would become, "let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord my rock and my redeemer" (Ps 19:14). To fix our eyes on our Savior, to turn our thoughts toward the truth of his Word, which discerns the thoughts and intentions of our heart.
We also remember, and submit to, the great wisdom of God, "for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Is 55:9). He holds the heavens and all the happenings on earth in his sovereign, loving hand. We may not understand why our idea, our vision isn't catching, but as we seek to honour him first above all else, in coram deo-all things in the presence of God, under the authority of God, and for the glory of God-His renown will be seen in our lives and actions.
Only then will the thread of self break.